I know I have a problem but I don't know what is it, for sure.
And I also know how to solve the problem, but I don't want to.
It is awful to know that all your efforts to go on with your life, all the shadows you think have banished, everything you have done for the last 3 years is useless and you have to start again from scratch. Just a simple choice, to pick up the phone or just let it there in the pseudo-corner of the living room, silent.
I refuse to make a phone call, I know I only have to forget about it, but the harder I try, the bigger the problem in my head, and it aches.
It is only a matter of press some buttons, wait in the line and then say "hello!" or whatever, but I'm confussed and it make me anxious.
I know I have to face it someday. May be I only have to wait a little longer, or may be I have to call and pray to hear the voice in the other side said: "Sorry, wrong number". But some things are always present.
I have to do something to solve this and I know the answer. But I refuse.